Autistic teenagers and friendships
Breaks are often harder than lessons. This page is for the child who eats lunch alone, the one who has a friend until the group chat turns, and the parent who does not know whether to push or protect.
Written by the Inclusive Developmental and Therapy Center therapy team — our Speech & Language Therapist, psychology and ABA staff. This page is awaiting its clinical review.
What to practise this month
Not “make eye contact” and not “share more”. Three skills change the week:
- Joining. A sentence they can say at the edge of a game: “Can I have a turn after this?” Practise it at home until it is boring.
- Leaving. A way out of noise without a scene: “I’m going to get water.” Permission to leave is a friendship skill. Staying until they explode is not.
- Repair. One line for when they have talked too long about a favourite topic, or missed a joke: “I went on a bit — what were you saying?”
Then pick one real setting — a cousin, a neighbour, one club — and try the sentence there. School is the hardest room; do not start in the hardest room. Girls who copy classmates all day often unravel at 4pm; that is in autism and ADHD in girls and after school.
Related: teenagers, older social skills, school-age hub.
Friendships — questions parents ask
They say they don’t want friends. Should I leave it?
Ask twice, on a good day. Some autistic teens are content with family and a special interest. Loneliness looks different: they talk about other children a lot, they are gutted after a group chat they were left out of, or they call themselves weird. Believe the feeling, not the shrug.
Is this just shyness?
Shyness warms up. Autism often stays effortful even with people they like. Anxiety can sit on top of both. See shy, introverted or anxious and selective mutism if they talk at home and freeze at school.
They are being left out on purpose. What then?
That is bullying, not a skills gap. Read when your child is being bullied and send a short note — our letter to school can be adapted. Do not make them practise “being friendlier” at the people who are unkind.
Can therapy teach friendship?
A consultation is Rs 1,500 and lasts up to 50 minutes.. We practise joining, leaving and repairing a conversation — then you try it in one real place that week. The home program is social skills for older children.
Is break the loneliest part of the day?
A short, friendly conversation is the best first step. Call, text or WhatsApp us — we’ll listen and guide you, with no pressure.
MPS Road, Block A Model Town, Multan (near Bloomfield Hall School, Street No. 2) · Mon–Fri, 2 PM – 6 PM