When a child lies or steals
Most families treat this as a character problem. It is usually a skill problem: words, impulse, or fear of your reaction. This page is what to do this week.
Written by the Inclusive Developmental and Therapy Center therapy team — our Speech & Language Therapist, psychology and ABA staff. This page is awaiting its clinical review.
What to do instead of the speech
Stay boring. Name the fact. Return the thing. Practise the missing skill once: “Next time, ask. The sentence is ‘can I have one?’” Then drop it. A long moral talk is a spotlight, and some children will say anything to get out from under it.
If they took food, they may have been hungry, or they may have no other way to start a conversation. If they took a toy, they may not yet understand “yours” and “mine”, or they may have been overwhelmed in a shop. If they lied about a fight at school, ask what they were afraid would happen if they told the truth.
Related: hitting and biting, behavioural therapy, behaviour at home.
Lying and taking things — questions parents ask
Should I force them to confess?
No. Cornering a child produces a better liar. Describe what you see: “The chocolate is gone and there is wrapper in your pocket.” Then deal with the thing, not the theatre. Discipline without hitting or shouting is the longer method.
Could this be ADHD or a language problem?
Yes, both. A child who cannot hold a plan, or cannot find the words for “I was scared”, will often grab or invent. See ADHD and developmental language disorder. Stealing plus running off is a different safety issue: wandering.
They lie about schoolwork. Is that the same?
Often it is homework they cannot do. Lying “I don’t have any” is cheaper than sitting with a page they cannot read. Fix the work: homework battles.
When is it more than a phase?
When it is frequent, they do not care who it hurts, or it sits with aggression, running off or a sharp change in mood. A consultation is Rs 1,500 and lasts up to 50 minutes. We will look at what the behaviour is doing, not at a label first.
Has this become the thing you dread?
A short, friendly conversation is the best first step. Call, text or WhatsApp us — we’ll listen and guide you, with no pressure.
MPS Road, Block A Model Town, Multan (near Bloomfield Hall School, Street No. 2) · Mon–Fri, 2 PM – 6 PM