Your parent toolkit

Let your child choose the play, and join in on their terms instead of directing.

Why it helps: Children learn most when they’re interested and in charge. Following their lead builds connection and gives them a reason to communicate.

How to do it

1. Get down to their level and watch what they’re drawn to.
2. Join their play without taking over or correcting.
3. Copy what they do, then add a little — and see what happens.

Position yourself at your child’s eye level, then pause expectantly.

Why it helps: Being face to face helps your child see your mouth and expressions — and a pause gives them the space to start communicating.

How to do it

1. Sit or kneel so you’re eye to eye.
2. Do something fun, then stop and wait, looking at them expectantly.
3. Count to five in your head — give them time to react, look or speak.

Say the words you want to hear, instead of testing your child with questions.

Why it helps: Constant “what’s this?” can feel like pressure. Modelling gives your child the words to copy, with no wrong answers.

How to do it

1. Instead of “what’s this?”, simply name it: “a ball!”
2. Narrate what you and your child are doing: “pouring the water”.
3. Keep your language just a step above theirs — short and clear.

Take your child’s words and add a little more.

Why it helps: Expanding shows your child the next step in language without correcting them — they feel understood and hear a richer version.

How to do it

1. If your child says “car”, you say “big car!” or “car go”.
2. If they say “want juice”, you say “you want juice, please”.
3. Add just one or two words — not a whole lecture.

Praise the specific thing your child did, not just “good boy/girl”.

Why it helps: Describing exactly what they did well helps them understand and repeat it — and it feels more genuine.

How to do it

1. Say what you saw: “You put all the blocks away — great tidying!”
2. Catch effort, not just success: “You tried so hard with that.”
3. Praise straight away, while it’s fresh.

Notice and respond to the behaviour you want more of.

Why it helps: Children repeat whatever gets your attention. Catching the good — not just reacting to the difficult — grows more of it.

How to do it

1. Look out for small good moments and comment on them warmly.
2. Give calm, low-key attention to minor annoying behaviour where safe.
3. Make “caught being good” your default, several times a day.

Keep daily routines predictable, and show the plan with pictures.

Why it helps: Knowing what comes next lowers anxiety and reduces meltdowns — especially for children who find change hard.

How to do it

1. Keep key routines (meals, bath, bed) in the same order each day.
2. Use simple pictures to show the sequence of the day or a task.
3. Give a gentle warning before transitions: “two more minutes, then tidy up”.

Share a book daily — and make it a two-way chat, not a performance.

Why it helps: Shared reading is one of the most powerful things you can do for language, attention and closeness.

How to do it

1. Talk about the pictures rather than only reading the words.
2. Follow your child’s interest — it’s fine to skip pages or re-read favourites.
3. Pause and let them fill in words in familiar books.

Set up little moments where your child needs to ask, choose or request.

Why it helps: If everything is handed over before they ask, there’s no reason to communicate. Small opportunities spark words.

How to do it

1. Offer choices: hold up two things and wait — “apple or banana?”
2. Put a favourite toy in sight but out of reach.
3. Give a little, then pause — a bit of juice, then wait for “more”.

Be the calm, steady presence when your child is overwhelmed.

Why it helps: Children borrow our calm to settle their own storm. Reacting big makes big feelings bigger; staying steady helps them regulate.

How to do it

1. Lower your voice and slow down — your calm is contagious.
2. Name the feeling: “you’re really cross the tower fell”.
3. Comfort first, teach later — problem-solve once they’re calm.