Preparing a child for a new baby
The baby will be fine. The older child is the one whose world just shrank. This page is how to tell them, what to keep still, and how not to turn them into an unpaid helper.
Written by the Inclusive Developmental and Therapy Center therapy team — our Speech & Language Therapist, psychology and ABA staff. This page is awaiting its clinical review.
What to say, and what to keep the same
Use short true sentences. “A baby is coming to live here. You are still my child. Some things will change; your cup and your story at night will not.” Show a photograph of them as a baby if that helps. Do not promise they will love the baby. Love is allowed to arrive late.
Practise the bits that will actually change: who does pickup, where they sit when you feed, what happens when the baby cries. If they have additional needs, write it on the wall. Relatives who sweep in and take the older child “so you can rest” often make things worse — that child needed you, not a new house.
After the birth, give them a job that is optional and small, never the baby’s care. Ten minutes that is only theirs beats a whole afternoon of “helping”. The longer guide to rivalry is sibling fighting and jealousy.
A new baby — questions parents ask
When should I tell them?
When the change is close enough to be real. For a young child, a few weeks is plenty. For an autistic child who needs time to rehearse, a bit longer — with a calendar they can see. A six-month warning they cannot feel is just worry.
My older child has autism or ADHD. Is this going to be worse?
It can be louder, because sameness is how they cope. Protect sleep, the school run, and one familiar adult if you can. Visuals help: whose room, whose cup, when mummy is busy. See visual schedules and our page for brothers and sisters.
They have started hitting, wetting or talking like a baby again.
Regression around a new baby is common. Meet the need underneath — more of you, not a speech about being grown-up. If wetting at night returns, read bedwetting. If hitting is new and sharp, hitting and biting.
Can you help us plan the weeks around the birth?
A consultation is Rs 1,500 and lasts up to 50 minutes.. Tell us the child’s age, any diagnosis, and who will be in the house. We will pick two things to keep the same, not a twelve-point programme.
Is the older child already wobbling?
A short, friendly conversation is the best first step. Call, text or WhatsApp us — we’ll listen and guide you, with no pressure.
MPS Road, Block A Model Town, Multan (near Bloomfield Hall School, Street No. 2) · Mon–Fri, 2 PM – 6 PM